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On The |
| GBS-GIESLER CORP ELECTROTEX HIS MARKETING HARRIS CORP NVISION PHILIPS SYSTEM ONE COMMUNICATIONS |
David Carr, submits this one . . .
BUTT PRINTS IN THE SAND
One night I had a wondrous dream,
One set of footprints there were seen,
The footprints of my precious Lord,
But mine were not along the shore.
But then some stranger prints appeared,
And I asked the Lord, "What have we here?"
Those prints are large and round and neat,
"But Lord, they are too big for feet."
"My child," He said in somber tones,
"for miles I carried you alone.
I challenged you to walk in faith,
But you refused and made me wait."
"You disobeyed, you would not grow,
The walk of faith, you would not know,
So I got tired, I got fed up,
And there I dropped you on your butt."
"Because in life, there comes a time,
When one must fight, and one must climb,
When one must rise and take a stand,
Or leave their butt prints in the sand.
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Bob Chase came up with this one . . .
There was an engineer who had an exceptional gift for
fixing all things
mechanical. After serving his company loyally for over 30
years, he happily retired. Several years later the company contacted
him regarding a seemingly impossible problem they were having with
one of their multi-million dollar machines. They had tried everything
and everyone else to get the machine fixed, but to no avail.
In desperation, they called on the retired engineer who had
solved so
many of their problems in the past. The engineer reluctantly took the
challenge. He spent a day studying the huge machine. At the end of the
day, he marked a small "x" in chalk on a particular component of the
machine and proudly stated, "This is where your problem is". The part
was replaced and the machine worked perfectly again.
The company received a bill for $50,000 from the engineer
for his
service. They demanded an itemized accounting of his charges.
The engineer responded briefly:
One chalk mark
$1
Knowing where to put it
$49,999
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George Schank submitted this one . . .
There were three Medieval kingdoms on the shores of a lake. There
was
an island in the middle of the lake, which the kingdoms had been fighting
over for years. Finally, the three kings decided that they would send
their knights out to do battle, and the winner would take the island.
The night before the battle, the knights and their squires
pitched camp
and readied themselves for the fight. The first kingdom had 12 knights,
and each knight had 5 squires, all of whom were busily polishing armor,
brushing horses, and cooking food. The second kingdom had 20 knights,
and each knight had 10 squires. Everyone at that camp was also busy
preparing for battle. At the camp of the third kingdom, there was only
one knight, with his squire. This squire took a large pot and hung it
from a looped rope in a tall tree. He busied himself preparing the
meal, while the knight polished his own armor.
When the hour of the battle came, the three kingdoms sent their
squires
out to fight (this was too trivial a matter for the knights to join in).
The battle raged, and when the dust cleared, the only person left was
the lone squire from the third kingdom, having defeated the squires
from the other two kingdoms.
I guess this just proves that the squire of the high pot and noose
is
equal to the sum
of the squires of the other two sides.
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